Over the past few days, there has been a lot of dissing in the menstrual support groups I am part of after an actress commented on social media that she does not believe in 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧. I must admit, menstrual health and mental health are deeply personal topics for me. However, I am not here to prove the actress wrong. Perhaps she has her own reasons for being a 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐫. Everyone has the right to their opinion, but opinions are not the same as truth. 

What concerns me are the absolutist statements like “menopause is rubbish”, it’s not a piece of fiction or a movie for one to rate and share ratings, especially when one has not experienced it, Personally for me and many of my group members, we felt like we were grossly invalidated and handed out 0.5 stars and we still have to go through this pain. I take issue with the way such remarks on social media seem to give people in families, friend circles, and workplaces the license to say things like:

 “𝐺𝑜𝑑 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛; 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠.”

“𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑖𝑐𝑘—𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑙.” 

“𝑀𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑥𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛.”

In India, the average age for menopause is between 44 and 47, with growing concerns around premature menopause. 

The contributing factors? Lifestyle, food habits, early menarche, stress, environment, and mental health.

Do women bring this on themselves- Nope, I have been told junk eating, stress, overweight women suffer more, but a lot of my junk eating friends don’t have PCOS, or PMDD, but many of my healthy friends who eat healthy, workout responsibly, have endometriosis, PCOS and perimenopausal symptoms.

Does this mean that everyone going through this phase is a fire-breathing dragon, popping pills, seeking leaves, or embarking on Kill Bill missions? No pills are not even the first recommended course of treatment, there is a lot that is on offer acknowledging this is a phase of life. 

What helps is understanding this transition rather than comparing it to women of the past or previous generations.

To those who have breezed through menopause—I envy you! But I also urge you to support those nearing the finishing line.

To those struggling—don’t let celebrities or social media dictate what you should or shouldn’t feel. There is no shame in admitting pain, and support is available.

And to those who don’t understand or believe in menopause, perhaps this quote will resonate:

“𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲.”

We are just a click away, if you want to leave a word: Menopause