The violence hidden in voices
Even now, as an adult, her hands tremble every time she writes ‘g’. Her signature has a crooked ‘g’.
Her sister Pia, who watched it all in silence, says she freezes whenever someone raises their voice while teaching a child.
βEven if the child is laughing with the parent minutes later, and I know the child is safe with this adult, I panic when I hear the voice raise.
I fear the child might get hurt.
I just canβt stand loud voices when they are aimed at a child trying to learn, my body responds to these voices, I just can’t focus on anything else, I just feel like I should rescue the child.β
This is not just Jiaβs story.
In our support group ‘Healing from dysfunctional family dynamics’, this was one of the earliest memories that surfaced.
namely – πππ ππππππππ πππ
π
ππ ππ ππππππ.
We spoke of the tone, the sudden spike, the stressed syllable, the sharp breath before the outburst
All those subtle signals that taught us early to brace for an explosion.
We talked about how even now, years later, we can sense that shift in a voice
even over a phone call, even from miles away.
Because our nervous systems were trained to detect the storm before it hit.
And even after years of healing, learning, and relearning it is still normal to forget what to do when those moments hit.
When you freeze. Or spiral. Or feel small again.
If you have ever felt this way, here are some gentle steps to help you come back to yourself, especially in the middle of a flashback.
Save these steps, share it with those who could use these during a flashback. Click here to access it –Β violence in voices