Being balanced, by being authentic
All my life, I have heard my family blame it on me for choosing to study psychology.
“You think too much, shouldn’t have let you study psychology.”
“You have studied psychology, why do you argue, how can you be angry?”
“You have studied psychology, why can you not just ignore people’s comments/unwanted gaze/ belittling statements?”
“You have studied psychology, why don’t you be the bigger person and forgive?” (this hurts the most)
As if understanding human behavior means I should tolerate being hurt. As if knowing the mechanics of the mind makes me immune to pain.
By that logic—
Orthopedic surgeons should be fine if someone breaks their bones; after all, they can fix them.
Dentists must be okay with having their teeth crushed, they know exactly how to restore them.
Cardiologists should never feel heartbreak.
Ethical hackers should not feel the sting of phishing scams.
Yet, somehow, mental health practitioners are expected to absorb harm without flinching, as if our ability to help others means we must never need help ourselves.
Holding space does not mean absorbing harm. Having skills does not mean having immunity. Healing others does not mean we must tolerate being wounded.
Before you judge a mental health practitioner, pause and ask yourself, does your career make you immune to human emotions?
I take pride in my skills and my ability to process my emotions while holding space for others. But I refuse to be guilted or gaslit into sacrificing my emotional needs just to fit someone else’s expectations.
Even if that means you throw the same statement at me the 100th of times, yes – I studied psychology, and I am very much a human and intend to stay that way!
If you have such experiences, pls do share here: Being authentic