A tale of two chairs: Stylist's and mine
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ง๐ญ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐๐ โ ๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ.
She was shy, anxious, and barely a talker. But as our session began, she looked at me and asked,
โ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ช๐ณ๐ค๐ถ๐ต?โ- A decade ago, I would have squirmed at a question like this โ awkward and unsure how to respond. But now, with a few more years (and sessions) behind me, I saw it for what it was: a gentle invitation into my clientโs world.
We both had short hair, and I sensed that simple detail made her feel a bit more at ease.ย
โ๐๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐ค๐ฆ๐ด,โ I said, โ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ญ๐บ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด’ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ช๐ณ ๐ด๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ, ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ฎ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ด๐ช ๐ฃ๐ข๐ณ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ.โ
Her eyes widened, and I could almost hear the unspoken words: We just connected.
She laughed in relief:
โ๐๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ha๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ!โ
We ended up talking about how uncomfortable ladiesโ salons can be โ how we pay three times more, get guilt-tripped about hair loss, sold treatments we didnโt ask for, and often leave feeling worse.
โ๐ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ท๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ๐ดโ ๐ด๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ,โ she said.
โ๐ ๐ข๐จ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ โ ๐ช๐ต i๐ด ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ข๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ,โ I replied.
Then she paused.
โ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ง๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ,โ she said.
โ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ช๐ณ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ด ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ฑ๐ช๐ด๐ต. ๐๐บ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ฑ๐ช๐ด๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐บ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ. ๐๐ต ๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ถ๐ณ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ช๐ต ๐ข๐ค๐ณ๐ฐ๐ด๐ด ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ.โ
I have had many reasons shared over the years for why clients chose to work with me โ but this one was entirely different.
In a world that often judges us for how we look, this came in as a surprise that one could be rejected or accepted for one’s physical traits as a therapist. Itโs honestly the last thing I thought would matter in this line of work. But to be chosen because my short hair made someone feel safe โ that stayed with me.
And honestly?
A quiet haircut at a menโs salon was its own kind of relief.
No questions, no product pushing, no pity โ just quiet efficiency. Maybe itโs because hair loss in men is accepted a lot more, and no one feels the need to comment. Unlike the ladiesโ salons where I often felt like my case history was being taken (and theirs generously shared).
Never have I missed a salon where my hair wasnโt pitied, my scalp wasnโt diagnosed, and my dignity wasnโt chipped away.
That moment with my client reminded me how the tiniest details, short hair, a shared discomfort โ can create connection and trust in a deep, human way.
Have you ever bonded with a client over something unexpectedly simple?
I would love to hear your stories:ย Safe Spaces